Age does not matter - the needs are the same

I have been working on the development of a Pastoral Care Program for the school I work in during the past few weeks and this has entailed reading articles, books and consulting other resources.

I have shared in other blogs that all young people, without exception, need to be loved (cared for), feel valued and live lives that have meaning and purpose and I believe these thoughts remain 100% true. When I was a teenager many years ago, I, too, had those needs as I journeyed through my confusing adolescent years on the way to adulthood.

Working towards goals definitely motivated and inspired me to keep on keeping on when I might have wanted to quit. Yet today I hear people trashing goal setting - perhaps these are the people who have never set goals themselves? Goals do not have to dominate our lives, but they give us a purpose for getting up each day. If we have at least one person to share those goals with, the accountability factor kicks in and progress is under way - better still if that person is non-judgmental and cares about us unconditionally (what a gift!). Working towards the achievement of a goal definitely gives my life meaning and purpose, even today.

I have also been reading quite a bit about developing resilient young people. My school's Pastoral Care Program has this as a major aim. Not surprisingly, so much of this research points to the importance of achieving goals.

Young people, most of whom are locked into their mobile phones, are inadvertently screaming out to their parents, teachers and other adults that they want to be 'connected' - read: build positive and meaningful relationships. That's right, positive and meaningful relationships which includes relationships with other adults, including Mum and Dad :-)

The challenge? Reading other parenting blogs, where frustrated parents are writing about how to deal with their monster children, I sometimes wonder whether some of those scribes should take a look in the mirror and ask three very simple questions:

• Am I being an effective role model to my child?
• What positive values am I role modelling to my child?
• Am I listening to my child, especially when he or she is saying nothing?

As a parent, I know it all starts with me. If my life is too hard, too challenging etc., I need to seek help, advice, direction from wiser, more level-headed, wonderful role models and then, tough though it might be, I have to ensure that I feel loved and valued by at least one other person and my life will then start having more meaning and purpose. I am fortunate in that I have built a network of wonderfully supportive people around me, people I know I can trust with my life and who believe in me.

I am also privileged, in that I have Jesus as my role model - some squirm at the thought, at the very statement. As with everything in life, that's their choice.