Another year rushes by and I am able to reflect on some of the issues I have been dealing with in and out of a school environment during the past year.
There seem to be major issues around too many boys not stepping up in co-educational school environments. Girls put their hands up quickly and offer to take on duties, tasks, new challenges. Boys, aware of this, sit back and do little. Of course this is a gross generalisation, but I seem to see more and more of this happening and, in discussion with other teachers at other schools, there seems to be a common problem emerging. A challenge for 2012 will be how to encourage boys to step up and become the best they can be.
Issues around cyberbullying don't seem to go away. I am always amazed at how, despite numerous discussions, warnings etc. etc., so many students are guilty of cyber bullying, especially on Facebook. What concerns me more is how many parents, also despite so many words of advice from people in the know, do not seem to do much to help their children appreciate the issues around cyber bullying. How many parents even know when their children are using the internet? How many parents allow their children to have internet access in their bedrooms?
I am also becoming concerned at the lack of creativity and innovation of many students. Their world of instant gratification seems to have stopped them thinking, planning, exploring, being creative and innovative and so much more. Of course this is still a gross generalisation, though there are more and more signs prevalent amongst too may young people.
My old hobby horse remains. The wonders of the Digital Age are evident for one and all and it is amazing what can be done, who one can communicate with etc. etc. Yet, while all this is going on, I see the breakdown of communication. Are we educating children about developing the social skills to build long-term meaningful relationships? This can't be done via computer - difficult to have the eye contact, check out the body language etc.
Mmmm .... probably time to stop and keep reflecting :-)
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
36 Tips for a Positive Parenting Life
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'
1. Pray.
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say ‘No’ to projects that won't fit into your time schedule or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns.If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety.If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden,extra stamps,etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a spiritually enlightening book with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a CD while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favourite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a
good, 'Thank you GOD.'
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.
'If God is for us, who can be against us?'
- (Romans 8:31)
(Source unknown)
1. Pray.
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say ‘No’ to projects that won't fit into your time schedule or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns.If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety.If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden,extra stamps,etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a spiritually enlightening book with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a CD while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favourite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a
good, 'Thank you GOD.'
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.
'If God is for us, who can be against us?'
- (Romans 8:31)
(Source unknown)
Sunday, May 29, 2011
5 Tips for Parents of girls
5 tips for parents of girls adapted from a talk by a psychologist who has worked with many many teens over the years.
1. Negotiate the rules early – start conversations about values, sex, alcohol, drugs, appropriate/inappropriate behaviour early.
2. Use consequential language ie, your choices have consequences (good/not so good).
3. Don’t be a doormat.
4. Always say what you mean and mean what you say.
5. Use non-verbal management strategies eg, turning off the TV or disabling a computer.
Key questions to ask yourself when you consider how to parent your child:
1. What is safe?
2. What is fair?
3. What is reasonable?
And, never forget, you were an adolescent once yourself :-)
1. Negotiate the rules early – start conversations about values, sex, alcohol, drugs, appropriate/inappropriate behaviour early.
2. Use consequential language ie, your choices have consequences (good/not so good).
3. Don’t be a doormat.
4. Always say what you mean and mean what you say.
5. Use non-verbal management strategies eg, turning off the TV or disabling a computer.
Key questions to ask yourself when you consider how to parent your child:
1. What is safe?
2. What is fair?
3. What is reasonable?
And, never forget, you were an adolescent once yourself :-)
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Boys will be boys and .....
Boys will be boys and they need a great deal of guidance as they journey through their adolescent years.
Graham is 15 and, from a recent conversation, I have learnt that he spends about 56 hours a week playing computer games, on the internet, involved in other internet games, participating in some questionable chat rooms (his own admission) etc. etc. From a little research I have done, children should not be allowed to spend more than two hours a day playing games, on the internet like this etc. What has happened now is that Graham has become totally disconnected from school. He is not a major behaviour problem at all, though he undermines teachers, makes smart comments, mostly of a negative nature, and is influencing a student or two who are in vulnerable places and easily influenced.
Graham's parents know all about this - dare I call it an addiction? - and yet he is allowed to continue this most unhealthy lifestyle.
How was this matter discovered? Simply by finding out which students in a school in a particular age group were actively connected and involved in the school eg, through sport, music, drama or some other extracurricular activities.
Graham's future journey will be interesting. Some interventions are being organised with Graham's support .....
What I have also observed during the past year is that boys in particular, in this 15 and 16 year age group, who are developing behaviour issues and making poor choices, without exception have no goals in their lives and are simply drifting along. Binge drinking is becoming an issue. In some cases, they are not coping with academic work, everything seems too hard and so they are developing many negative behavioural symptoms which inevitably places them at real risk of being asked to leave their school.
There are a number of interventions that could be used to encourage them to become the best they can be. From my experience in recent years, I have little doubt that the development of a youth mentoring program for such students would see so many positive life changes. Such a program should be for girls as well, as it's a well known fact that teenage girls tend to cover their concerns and issues better than boys of the same age.
In many cases, I also feel more effective parenting is required and a collaborative approach between student, parent and the school could work wonders.
One thing is for sure: there is no quick-fix solution ....
Graham is 15 and, from a recent conversation, I have learnt that he spends about 56 hours a week playing computer games, on the internet, involved in other internet games, participating in some questionable chat rooms (his own admission) etc. etc. From a little research I have done, children should not be allowed to spend more than two hours a day playing games, on the internet like this etc. What has happened now is that Graham has become totally disconnected from school. He is not a major behaviour problem at all, though he undermines teachers, makes smart comments, mostly of a negative nature, and is influencing a student or two who are in vulnerable places and easily influenced.
Graham's parents know all about this - dare I call it an addiction? - and yet he is allowed to continue this most unhealthy lifestyle.
How was this matter discovered? Simply by finding out which students in a school in a particular age group were actively connected and involved in the school eg, through sport, music, drama or some other extracurricular activities.
Graham's future journey will be interesting. Some interventions are being organised with Graham's support .....
What I have also observed during the past year is that boys in particular, in this 15 and 16 year age group, who are developing behaviour issues and making poor choices, without exception have no goals in their lives and are simply drifting along. Binge drinking is becoming an issue. In some cases, they are not coping with academic work, everything seems too hard and so they are developing many negative behavioural symptoms which inevitably places them at real risk of being asked to leave their school.
There are a number of interventions that could be used to encourage them to become the best they can be. From my experience in recent years, I have little doubt that the development of a youth mentoring program for such students would see so many positive life changes. Such a program should be for girls as well, as it's a well known fact that teenage girls tend to cover their concerns and issues better than boys of the same age.
In many cases, I also feel more effective parenting is required and a collaborative approach between student, parent and the school could work wonders.
One thing is for sure: there is no quick-fix solution ....
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Doing my best as a parent
I have been reading an excellent book by Dr Dave Ziegler, a psychologist and therapist who has done amazing work with severely traumatised children over many, many years. The book's title is: 'Achieving Success with Impossible Children'. Some extracts:
"The best measure of our progress as a parent is not to look to our accomplishments, but to look inward at who we have become ... As a child matures, it is your responsibility to provide opportunities for him or her to make better decisions ... if you have done your best to teach the child that there are consequences for our actions, and being responsible is a necessary personal quality, then what the child decides to do is his report card, not yours ....
"Yes, I believe we can take on the hardest challenge in parenting or working with a difficult child, and we can proceed with the confidence that we can learn, we can influence, and we can succeed ...
"So the way to work with a difficult child and have it a no-lose proposition is to do: your homework, never stop learning, use your mental skills, model being healthy, continue to reach out regardless of the response, take care of yourself, get the help you need, change most of your thinking about parenting, learn to enjoy the process, and don't give up! I didn't say it was easy, but I do believe it is possible."
One needs to read the book to fully understand what he is getting at, though I enjoyed the positive message of hope which he relays to all his readers.
"The best measure of our progress as a parent is not to look to our accomplishments, but to look inward at who we have become ... As a child matures, it is your responsibility to provide opportunities for him or her to make better decisions ... if you have done your best to teach the child that there are consequences for our actions, and being responsible is a necessary personal quality, then what the child decides to do is his report card, not yours ....
"Yes, I believe we can take on the hardest challenge in parenting or working with a difficult child, and we can proceed with the confidence that we can learn, we can influence, and we can succeed ...
"So the way to work with a difficult child and have it a no-lose proposition is to do: your homework, never stop learning, use your mental skills, model being healthy, continue to reach out regardless of the response, take care of yourself, get the help you need, change most of your thinking about parenting, learn to enjoy the process, and don't give up! I didn't say it was easy, but I do believe it is possible."
One needs to read the book to fully understand what he is getting at, though I enjoyed the positive message of hope which he relays to all his readers.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Facing up to relationship issues
In recent months I have observed a number of situations where teenagers have had relationship difficulties. Instead of learning how to deal with these issues in a positive way, there has been more avoidance than anything else. Teenagers have been given strategies to help them cope with the situation. These strategies will, no doubt, be useful for the life journey. They have not de-escalated the situation.
Parents then enter the situation and, understandably, battle to appreciate that their child might have contributed to the conflict. How long ago were they teenagers? Seems like they have forgotten that conflicts of varying degrees were part and parcel of teenage life.
We need to teach and coach our students how to resolve conflicts in a positive way. As soon as the conflict rears its ugly head, bring in a non-judgmental adult to mediate the meeting between the two conflicting teenagers. The odds of resolving the matter, if both teenagers are willing to seek a solution, are incredibly high.
When this does not happen and the situation escalates, I wonder how this contributes to feelings of anxiety, depression and so much more? Unwrap the bubblewrap kids with care!
Parents then enter the situation and, understandably, battle to appreciate that their child might have contributed to the conflict. How long ago were they teenagers? Seems like they have forgotten that conflicts of varying degrees were part and parcel of teenage life.
We need to teach and coach our students how to resolve conflicts in a positive way. As soon as the conflict rears its ugly head, bring in a non-judgmental adult to mediate the meeting between the two conflicting teenagers. The odds of resolving the matter, if both teenagers are willing to seek a solution, are incredibly high.
When this does not happen and the situation escalates, I wonder how this contributes to feelings of anxiety, depression and so much more? Unwrap the bubblewrap kids with care!
Monday, December 14, 2009
30 Tips for the Adolescent Journey
I have been spending time reflecting on the interactions I have been having with young people in recent months. Thoughts and ideas spring to mind. As adolescents journey to adulthood, here are 30 tips which will assist them to become the best they can be – come to think of it, they should probably be called 30 Tips for the Best Life, as they can probably be adapted to the lives of adults as well.
Attitude – never ever forget that you choose your attitude and how you respond to all that life throws at you. Live in hope and work hard at taking a positive, constructive attitude into everything you do and into all your meaningful relationships.
Ask – never stop asking questions no matter how trivial you might think they are. When others share their stories with you, you will gain knowledge which could significantly impact your life decisions.
Apologise – no-one is perfect. When you make a mistake, say the wrong thing, forget to do something you promised to do … whatever it might be, front up and be genuinely sorry.
Celebrate – celebrate the small and large victories; the times you achieve a relatively simple goal or achieve a long-term, major goal or when you successfully make it through a tough challenge. Never lose your sense of humour. Laugh often. Have fun.
Communicate – work consistently hard at developing and improving your communication skills. Become a brilliant listener, a motivator, encourager and inspiration to others. Develop a positive vocabulary, watch your body language and radiate care, compassion and unconditional love towards others. Show empathy, be genuine and respectful and people will value your contributions to their lives.
Conflict – conflict is part of life. Learn to how turn conflict into a positive learning and growth experience. Deal with it without violating another’s rights and don’t run away from it. Develop mediation skills. Become a healer where there is tension, pain, misunderstanding and suffering. Peacemakers are desperately needed!
Failure – don’t fear failure. Move out of your comfort zone if the challenge is not life-threatening. Life lessons are learnt when you give something a go. The key is to learn from the experience.
Finish well – whatever you do, give it your best shot until you finish, even if this is simply completing something only you know about. Whatever you start, even when you decide it’s not something you wish to pursue, finish well. Those who finish well find more windows of opportunities opening and they will soar on eagle’s wings.
Goal-getting – be a goal getter. Experiment with different methods of reaching your goal/s until you find the best method for you. Draw up a clear action plan and take small steps initially. Research suggests that those who set goals achieve much.
Humility – stay grounded so you do not allow your achievements to go to your head. Be proud of all you achieve, always remaining humble.
Integrity and Forgiveness – be a person of integrity, someone who keeps their word and who others can trust and depend on. Be respectful of yourself and others. Be quick to sincerely forgive those who wrong you, even when you battle to forget.
Learning – never ever stop learning and acquiring knowledge. Knowledge feeds the soul and helps you to become an effective change-agent in your local and wider community. Research, read widely, consult others and explore the works, ideas and opinions of others.
Listen – always listen to the opinions and ideas of others. Older people have more life experiences and their stories can assist your personal growth. They also were adolescents. Through listening, you have the opportunity to discern information you would like to use and store or discard.
Mirror Talk – love the person you see in the mirror each day. Remember you are unique and special and no-one else has your specific gifts and talents. It’s a fact – never forget that. Ignore those who tell you otherwise.
Money – avoid making money your God. It won’t and never can be. While it’s wonderful to have sufficient money to feed, clothe, house and educate ourselves, later to raise a family in a safe and secure environment, money will not buy you happiness, nor will owning the biggest and best TV, mobile phone, ipod etc. Seriously consider how you can contribute financially to end global poverty and, as you do so, it’s likely you will be making a positive contribution towards climate change issues as well.
Opportunities – engrave into your Being that every obstacle can be turned into an opportunity if you are prepared to think creatively, seek the guidance and wisdom of others and have the patience to work towards something, rather than expect a quick-fix solution or instant gratification.
Passion/s – identify your passion or passions. If you could do anything you wanted today and had all the qualifications you needed, what would you choose to do? That’s your passion – do something with it! Chase it!
Persevere – don’t quit! Go the extra mile even if you have to sweat a little, make some sacrifices (of social life) or commit yourself to something for a little longer. You will amaze yourself at what can be achieved when you do this.
Positive Peers – when you surround yourself with positive peers you will have a greater chance of becoming the best you can be. Positive peers know right from wrong – always choose your friends carefully and let trust develop over time.
Reflect – take time out each day to think about how you are doing, what you are doing, why you are doing it and what lessons can be learnt. Pray, meditate and be still for a few minutes each day.
Relationships – keep building your relationships and networks with peers, family, other adults (teachers, coaches etc.), employers and, most important, with God – that’s a challenge, but the soul needs to be nurtured. The world is slowly coming to appreciate that the story of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus is historically proven. Not sure? With an open mind, check out the details yourself. To be loved unconditionally is an amazing experience and it’s something every honest human being desires.
Self-discipline – build a disciplined lifestyle into all you do eg, 9 hours sleep a night (don’t make excuses about that!); a balanced lifestyle (at least 30 minutes of exercise every second day); manage your time well (time to work, time to study, time to eat, time to socialise and relax, time to exercise, time to follow an interest or hobby, time to sleep); say ‘no’ to drugs and alcohol abuse (so you don’t damage your brain during crucial developmental times), cigarettes and inappropriate sexual behaviour.
Service – give of yourself to others expecting nothing in return. Get involved in outreach programs. Through reaching out to others, you will discover many more positive qualities about yourself. Sometimes a friendly smile directed at a stranger or a peer can change their day. The world needs servant leaders – become one.
Share – share your ideals, passions and goals with at least one adult you trust and respect, in addition to your parent/s (optional). This is the person who can guide and encourage you non-judgmentally towards achieving your dreams. This experience teaches you how to be vulnerable with others in a safe and secure environment, a necessary life skill.
Stay focused – keep your eyes on your personal photograph at all times (see Visualisation below). That will get you through the tough and challenging times. There are no quick-fix, easy solutions. Success takes consistently hard work, careful planning and perseverance.
Take ownership – write down in the Present tense ie, as if you were achieving your goal/s today, how you are feeling eg, I feel …because …” Take ownership of your picture.
Teamwork – always seek to be a team player, a sure way to develop positive peer relationships, have role models in your life, be an encouragement to others, turn obstacles into opportunities and reach out to those in need.
Thanks – always express your genuine thanks to all who share their gold nuggets of wisdom and experience with you or offer you a helping hand.
Visualise – create an imaginary photo (or a real one!) of yourself achieving whatever it is you would like to achieve ie, as though you have already achieved it. Note your body language, your facial expression, your positive thoughts – never let go of it.
Attitude – never ever forget that you choose your attitude and how you respond to all that life throws at you. Live in hope and work hard at taking a positive, constructive attitude into everything you do and into all your meaningful relationships.
Ask – never stop asking questions no matter how trivial you might think they are. When others share their stories with you, you will gain knowledge which could significantly impact your life decisions.
Apologise – no-one is perfect. When you make a mistake, say the wrong thing, forget to do something you promised to do … whatever it might be, front up and be genuinely sorry.
Celebrate – celebrate the small and large victories; the times you achieve a relatively simple goal or achieve a long-term, major goal or when you successfully make it through a tough challenge. Never lose your sense of humour. Laugh often. Have fun.
Communicate – work consistently hard at developing and improving your communication skills. Become a brilliant listener, a motivator, encourager and inspiration to others. Develop a positive vocabulary, watch your body language and radiate care, compassion and unconditional love towards others. Show empathy, be genuine and respectful and people will value your contributions to their lives.
Conflict – conflict is part of life. Learn to how turn conflict into a positive learning and growth experience. Deal with it without violating another’s rights and don’t run away from it. Develop mediation skills. Become a healer where there is tension, pain, misunderstanding and suffering. Peacemakers are desperately needed!
Failure – don’t fear failure. Move out of your comfort zone if the challenge is not life-threatening. Life lessons are learnt when you give something a go. The key is to learn from the experience.
Finish well – whatever you do, give it your best shot until you finish, even if this is simply completing something only you know about. Whatever you start, even when you decide it’s not something you wish to pursue, finish well. Those who finish well find more windows of opportunities opening and they will soar on eagle’s wings.
Goal-getting – be a goal getter. Experiment with different methods of reaching your goal/s until you find the best method for you. Draw up a clear action plan and take small steps initially. Research suggests that those who set goals achieve much.
Humility – stay grounded so you do not allow your achievements to go to your head. Be proud of all you achieve, always remaining humble.
Integrity and Forgiveness – be a person of integrity, someone who keeps their word and who others can trust and depend on. Be respectful of yourself and others. Be quick to sincerely forgive those who wrong you, even when you battle to forget.
Learning – never ever stop learning and acquiring knowledge. Knowledge feeds the soul and helps you to become an effective change-agent in your local and wider community. Research, read widely, consult others and explore the works, ideas and opinions of others.
Listen – always listen to the opinions and ideas of others. Older people have more life experiences and their stories can assist your personal growth. They also were adolescents. Through listening, you have the opportunity to discern information you would like to use and store or discard.
Mirror Talk – love the person you see in the mirror each day. Remember you are unique and special and no-one else has your specific gifts and talents. It’s a fact – never forget that. Ignore those who tell you otherwise.
Money – avoid making money your God. It won’t and never can be. While it’s wonderful to have sufficient money to feed, clothe, house and educate ourselves, later to raise a family in a safe and secure environment, money will not buy you happiness, nor will owning the biggest and best TV, mobile phone, ipod etc. Seriously consider how you can contribute financially to end global poverty and, as you do so, it’s likely you will be making a positive contribution towards climate change issues as well.
Opportunities – engrave into your Being that every obstacle can be turned into an opportunity if you are prepared to think creatively, seek the guidance and wisdom of others and have the patience to work towards something, rather than expect a quick-fix solution or instant gratification.
Passion/s – identify your passion or passions. If you could do anything you wanted today and had all the qualifications you needed, what would you choose to do? That’s your passion – do something with it! Chase it!
Persevere – don’t quit! Go the extra mile even if you have to sweat a little, make some sacrifices (of social life) or commit yourself to something for a little longer. You will amaze yourself at what can be achieved when you do this.
Positive Peers – when you surround yourself with positive peers you will have a greater chance of becoming the best you can be. Positive peers know right from wrong – always choose your friends carefully and let trust develop over time.
Reflect – take time out each day to think about how you are doing, what you are doing, why you are doing it and what lessons can be learnt. Pray, meditate and be still for a few minutes each day.
Relationships – keep building your relationships and networks with peers, family, other adults (teachers, coaches etc.), employers and, most important, with God – that’s a challenge, but the soul needs to be nurtured. The world is slowly coming to appreciate that the story of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus is historically proven. Not sure? With an open mind, check out the details yourself. To be loved unconditionally is an amazing experience and it’s something every honest human being desires.
Self-discipline – build a disciplined lifestyle into all you do eg, 9 hours sleep a night (don’t make excuses about that!); a balanced lifestyle (at least 30 minutes of exercise every second day); manage your time well (time to work, time to study, time to eat, time to socialise and relax, time to exercise, time to follow an interest or hobby, time to sleep); say ‘no’ to drugs and alcohol abuse (so you don’t damage your brain during crucial developmental times), cigarettes and inappropriate sexual behaviour.
Service – give of yourself to others expecting nothing in return. Get involved in outreach programs. Through reaching out to others, you will discover many more positive qualities about yourself. Sometimes a friendly smile directed at a stranger or a peer can change their day. The world needs servant leaders – become one.
Share – share your ideals, passions and goals with at least one adult you trust and respect, in addition to your parent/s (optional). This is the person who can guide and encourage you non-judgmentally towards achieving your dreams. This experience teaches you how to be vulnerable with others in a safe and secure environment, a necessary life skill.
Stay focused – keep your eyes on your personal photograph at all times (see Visualisation below). That will get you through the tough and challenging times. There are no quick-fix, easy solutions. Success takes consistently hard work, careful planning and perseverance.
Take ownership – write down in the Present tense ie, as if you were achieving your goal/s today, how you are feeling eg, I feel …because …” Take ownership of your picture.
Teamwork – always seek to be a team player, a sure way to develop positive peer relationships, have role models in your life, be an encouragement to others, turn obstacles into opportunities and reach out to those in need.
Thanks – always express your genuine thanks to all who share their gold nuggets of wisdom and experience with you or offer you a helping hand.
Visualise – create an imaginary photo (or a real one!) of yourself achieving whatever it is you would like to achieve ie, as though you have already achieved it. Note your body language, your facial expression, your positive thoughts – never let go of it.
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